That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have post one night stand depression
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