can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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