Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
