There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
