i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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