I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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