they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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