i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
