I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
