you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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