So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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