names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
