I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize