Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
