No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
