No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
