I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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