It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
