While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize