This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
