she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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