Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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