i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
