i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize