id be glad to
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
