I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
