Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize