All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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