remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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