Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
