addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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