that's an acceptable place to lick
I just gift wrapped bread.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
