Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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