my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Randomize