The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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