Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
