yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
