When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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