so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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