Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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