We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
