just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
