We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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