He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You made out with two different species that night
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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