it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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