I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
