Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
