i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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