Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
