He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
