My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
