I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize