Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
