My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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