At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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