I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
