Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
someone threw a dead crab at me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am one with the molecules
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
