i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he fucked my hip out of place.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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