FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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