You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
